Page 66 - issue-25-fr

ÉLITE FRANÇAISE

NUMÉRO 11, NOVEMBRE 2020

cover photo

Alone but not lonely: the importance of

going out alone to search for true self

Bahey El Din Ayman

This morning, I finished reading a fair amount of pages from my current favorite book My desire to share my pleasure for reading a book is a completely a natural human
instinct, it's normal to search for a common ground between others to build relationships
written by the journalist "Lucette Lagnado", which is considered a recite of true events of the
and acquire the mutual approval that we need. Because not many people appreciate the
lifestyle of a Jewish family in Egypt between the 1940s and 1950s. These events also tell a
beautiful lifestyle of Cairo between the 1940s and 1950s, or not many people are
detailed story of the habits and aspects of the Egyptian society, and also narrate the details of
interested in facts about the Jewish society during this time, that ’ s why it ’s normal to
the Jewish community during the time of its residency in Egypt. After reading, I felt a type
feel a tickle of happiness if I encountered someone who has common interests with me,
of dark happiness, actually a type of excitement that needs to get out and reach out to
like it ’ s hard to find someone who is passionate about writing like me, or someone who
connect or to be shared with another soul. This type of positive feelings might be a mixture
loves hip-hop music, or serial killers TV shows, and I suppose that you too have rare
between my passion for reading and my will to share the beauty of this book with a person
interests which are hard to share with others. Like painting, or political analysis, or
who is truly passionate about this kind of detail. I absorbed this feeling and possessed it to
Paulo Coelho novels or even the despise for a certain kind of humans...etc. That ’s why
only myself. Then I put out my smile with a pencil and paper, and I started writing inspired
you are attracted spontaneously to the people who share with you the same interests, and
by these morning thoughts mixed with the smell of my favorite type of coffee (mocha). I
this represents the basis of the social construction with all its degrees, from
genuinely enjoy my own company, I find my true happiness in my privacy. Because the
acquaintances to marriage. Common grounds are not limited to just interests and
authentic self is the lone self and I will die in the hell for this. Mostly, I don ’t like my
hobbies, but also personalities and human qualities, but it ’ s even more complex and it ’ s
writings to be dominated by selfishness or oneness that may be inspiring for some. But this so hard to predict the links between its elements. For example, an introvert might prefer
time, the shade of personal experience might cover this article, not with the intention of self- finding an extrovert, and another introvert might be blown away from the same first
motivation or coaching gibberish, but with the intention of authentic thoughts or a personal extrovert.( On a side note, extroversion and ntroversion are not considered as whole
identities, like I don ’t walk the streets holding a card stating that I am an introvert. But
philosophy. The reader might deduct –if he had an accurate psychological analysis on the
they are both just traits for a much larger and complex personality, and it ’ s in
reason why I decided to write this kind of articles -which I tend to self-isolation or
continuous development because there are degrees of introversion and there are degrees
dependence due to a traumatic effect or a past mental breakdown. I can ’t object this
of extroversion, and there is a medical degree that combines the two traits, and it ’s
judgment, I ’m like many other youngsters who are in the beginning and mid of 20s, I have
worth mentioning that both traits are totally fine and natural as long as they are not
lost a lot of bonds which I thought would be immortal, I got attached to the wrong persons,
leaning towards the extremes. ), a nice, calm person might prefer finding an
and I invested a lot of energy in the wrong place. My feelings are still mutable and unsteady
adventurous, blunt person. All their vice verses are also possible, it ’s a very relative
towards my social circle and I don ’ t know where it will be heading after wise. (and if you
process and it ’s the main pile of social construction. From this point, the whole point of
don ’t know, humans are by nature, driven by their feelings, and as feelings are in constant
this article should be rystallized, and it ’ s just all about self-love and the affection of your
change, then logic plays its role here by taming, to an extent, our actions resulting from our
own company, without feeling lonely. What if I absorbed my joy for reading a book like
feelings, but feelings still got the upper hand, now back to my miserable streak), and I got
did, and didn ’t find someone who even cares which is the most likely? What if I did the
disappointed painfully to the extent of being in a physical pain, because of many social and
opposite of what my human nature implies, and headed towards isolation? Like what if
personal unusual let downs. On the other hand, I don ’ t hold any grudges toward any person
you enjoy the possession of your interests and your acceptance for yourself without the
in my whole existence, but I genuinely appreciate all the people and life lessons which made
need for external approval? What if you totally abandoned social media and the need to
me who I am today, I consider myself a true winner after all. Also, I ’m blessed with a get gratification from people you probably don ’t even know, and instead acquire your
number of friends who are like family to me. I can say with ease, that I learned in the last 2 own approval? I could write a lot about this and its possibilities won ’t end. This article
may seem like fairy tales for some, and especially hardcore extroverts, but believe it or
years as a college student what I didn ’t academically learn, and I suppose you will learn as
not, the hard-core extroverts may have the advantage in grasping the value of isolation
well if you haven't already learned. This transitional phase pushes you to change your
and the beauty of calmness, and these words may represent to them a beautiful movie
standards, or even reprogram your whole mind with what fits with the environment. That ’ s
they wish to be part of its cast. Wisdom and peace of mind lay between the shadows of
why despite all the lows and hardships I passed by, I separate between this dark side and my
silence, and I am not a philosopher nor an expert in the history of ideas, but I ’ m pretty
total faith in the love of isolation, with its wisdom and its beauty. Before the social
sure that the road of self-actualization is a road which begins from isolation and
butterflies and the opposites on introversion oppose me, I have to mention the idea of
wisdom, and if your life purpose is not elf-actualization then I don ’t know what is, with
"Hobbes" which represents the extremist limit of selfishness as it includes all degrees of
all my respect and considering for relativity. Because all your achievements and
introversion. Hobbes said that every man who does well only does well for himself and with
aspirations are must milestones or tests for your human potential, they represent
total selfish intent. He also considers giving and goodness as a total free will act. And every
continuous discoveries for your hidden limits which is part of your self-actualizatio ath.
voluntary act is for a certain desire. The ideas of Hobbes may be realistic, but the reality is
Normalize going out alone, visiting your favorite restaurant alone, enjoying your
relative. I don ’t encourage extreme and bleak isolation, and I don ’t point out to blow people
favorite dishes alone, going to the movies alone. Just treat yourself like you are your
away from you. Because whether you like it or not, me, and you and every human being
own lover or best friend. Serenity and peace of mind are a real-life treasure that is hard
need people in his life. And here shines the citation of Aristotle: "human is a social animal
to attain without being alone. I ’m a super follower of football, like any young follower
by nature". Truth is that people are very beautiful creatures who worth admiring and for the most notorious sport in he world, and it ’s easy for me to get into conflicts and
hard tempered discussions but I just prefer to relax and just admire the variety of
analyzing. In fact, without people, isolation, or in other words, enjoying being alone, is not
opinions, with my total retention for my own opinion (in most cases ), not with intention
possible. People have a direct effect in transforming the individual into a better person, by
of superiority but simply because I don ’ t care about getting recognition or approval
exploiting their own mistakes and learning from them, in addition to their direct experience
from the outside, and this does not prevent me from modifying my opinion) if I had to
with you. Because the idea of people or the other (me)s comforts you in your desolation and
(and adopting another one, and I just put into work this mindset in every aspect of life.
stimulates you to love yourself as "Jean-Paul Sartre" said, the other is just another (I) or (me)
Don ’ t go for getting external approval; love yourself fully because it ’ s the truest form of
which is not me. Of course, this implies multiple meanings like that personal conscious
love you will ever get, especially in your desolation, look o the beauty inside you, to
doesn't exist or that mind or logic are not related to the reality and such but this idea incite in
find it in others, and in nature.
you. Your love and passion for your individuality, aloneness, and the priority of your peace
of mind despite every external judgment.
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