Page 18 - Issue12-English

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|P A G E 17 I Is ss su ue e 1 12 2- October 2019

Silenced Our Old

Moments Notes

HadeerAshraf, Fourth Year, Economics Mayar Tarek, Fourth Level, Political Science

We have always reached this stage of repeated silence, without And I keep looking through my old notebooks wishing to restore at least
focusing of the time, stopping the mobility and wondering, what is a tiny part of that past which refuses to come back, that past I still
allof these collapse? Do we have a choice like surrender? At those remember details of it as if it happened yesterday, and even remembering
moments you will remember a few words passing, those which you them more than my present. Actually I can't tell, is it growing up which
have heard many times until you are bored, but now you are fully makes us run away to hide behind our childhood again, or cruelty of life?
aware of them.
But in my old notebooks there are thousand stories that I wish to live
Life may not give us a moment for feeling those things, but we all go now at least one of them, I wish to get that chance to turn time back; to
through them. Those moments of great gratitude to someone might be keep those details and be able to live them. But I don’t know if this is
relative, friend, or even a stranger, but they have left a very important really going to happen?Maybe because I realized the thing, I'll try to fix
mark on you, which support you in moments that you feel broken, tell what messed up, and I'll try to make use of what I let go and made it fade
you that you are still alive, and their voice becomes more vigorous away with my own will. Maybe because I didn’t know then that this was
than the sound of your soul that your ability to hear it have been going to happen, I didn’t make use of every single moment as if it was the
distorted inside of you. last.
So they were support you and their voice chasing you against your But what I found out after growing up as they call is that we don't know
will was a necessity, so you feel helpless and wondering repeatedly that this is the time and we'll never know; we'll never know unless all
what they want, they see that you have the right to keep silent and stay these details pass through our hands, and time passes also to find
away when you want to, but you have no right to abandon them for ourselves grown up like decades. Then we'll look through our old
longer, after attaching them with you, whether you are afraid of them notebooks trying to restore what we lost, trying to go back in a road that
or against them, they are the ones who awaken you from your has no return at all. There are still details at the present waiting for us to
inattention to your grief, as if they are grab you from the black hole live, there are still pictures waiting for us to take, and there is still a live
inside you, hopping you will return to them, and here you are felling waiting for us to live. But it's life; it'll keep taking us back to that quiet
gratitude for them that is mixed with inability of return the favor, corner at which we keep all our old memories. And we'll keep refuge to it
They just want you to rise again the old one of you, probably it’s a from time to time; we'll refuge to it when life becomes cruel on us to
torch inside you, they have felt the responsibility towards you and still remember that it wasn't so before, and we'll refuge to it when the ones we
believe in you in that time when you even can’t do that. love leave us to remember that they never did so before, and we'll refuge
to it when we face harshness and sleeping refuses to come closer to our
Perhaps there is no need to explain that feeling from them, but it is a eyes for days to remember how life was quiet and sleeping never left our
genuine sense and a reflection of what you were before. You may be side..
unable to thank them, but you have the burden of fulfil their hopes –
although I refuse to surrender to the right of yourself - some people We'll still refuge to this quiet corner to restore our childhood strength; the
have the burden of not surrender to the right of these individuals, you one from which we always ran away when we were young because we
should reach to what you were wished one day. If it is not for yourself wanted to grow up so fast. And we never knew that this would be growing
then for them, you should not make them feel failure they have the up, and that a day will come in which our memories will be the place from
which we restore our strength to continue. And this'll still be our quiet corner
right to be thanked in a proper way so there is no need for you to be which gives us comfort. And we'll always go back to look through our old
far all this time, the world wouldn’t change by your silence and will notebooks from time to time to have another chance to live their details; in an
never stand in a solace for your sadness. So you now know what you old picture, or maybe a letter the time decided to fade its writer's ink away..
must do and the most prober way to return their favor.

|P A G E 17 I Is ss su ue e 1 12 2- October 2019 ELITE